Even spontaneity requires a structure: free time to play and be spontaneous doesn’t happen on its own and jazz musicians who want to freely jam still need to keep to a key and time signature if they’re truly going to create magical moments of synchrony and beauty. Creating a ceremony structure helps you jazz in the moment, because you’ve done the preparatory work in the weeks and months before the ceremony that will enable you and your spouse to be freely present on the big day.
Think about most stories that have ever been told. On a structural level they’re all pretty much the same: they have a beginning, middle, and end; they have a peaceful beginning, a tense middle, and a resolved finish. Whether it’s Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Pride and Prejudice or Dragonball Z they all feature a very similar underlying structure.
Your wedding ceremony is an embodied story: it’s like a stage play but it’s real life. You’re enacting the story of your relationship together, making a statement about where things are at right now, and making a commitment about where you intend the future to go. There’s a peaceful ‘before’ time: the period when you were getting to know each other, revelling in the beginning and deepening of a beautiful relationship. There’s a ‘tense middle’: as you step into a space of uncertainty and are asked if you will devote yourself to your partner through sickness and health, for richer or poorer. And there’s a resolute end: there are no guarantees, but you’re resolving to make a decision in this moment about how you intend to act from this day forward until death do you part.
Next it’s all about finding your theme.
If you’re in Darwin or the NT and you’d like to chat further about my services as an authorised marriage celebrant, get in touch!
Tom Allen, Celebrant 